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1000 Black Lines

:: digital coffee stains on the paper of the blogosphere ::

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A real marketing, design & consulting agency

Huh? A marketing, design and consulting agency
"Welcome to the world's most dynamic e-business marketing, design and consulting agency," announces the homepage of Huh? "Our name will confuse you, but, you have to admit, the logo design is pretty cool. And... Our office is really modern and we've got nice computers and stuff."

By reading this far you should be clued into the fact that the Huh? marketing, design and consulting agency is a spoof Web site. Or is it? Ah, it's so true it couldn't possibly be a farce. However, if you've every sat in a conference room with a design/consulting agency putting on a dog an pony show for your company's executive staff, then you know this isn't far from the truth.

New-age marketing gurus or design experts
"We have really smart people who... have a meeting room with a big, round, expensive table... Our female staff members are all hot, so, even if there's nothing to meet about, we'll sit and flirt with them, and charge you for the time. When one of our new-age marketing gurus or design experts or consultants has an idea, the rest of us look at him or her with serious expressions and write stuff down on paper."

Hah, the truth is revealed. I mean, this really is a fictional company. But it's such a good impression of what post office personal think of design/consulting agency.

Let me set up a real world example of one of these meetings. There's usually an executive consultant flanked by his/her marketing guru to the right and art director to the left. Following those three are one or two attractive female staff members who have meaningless titles like "Media Buyer" or "Client Relations Accountant". They usually are the ones carrying the meeting agendas, portfolios, samples, and multimedia presentation equipment.

The executive consultant begins the meeting by introducing his/her "really smart" staff including their career achievements with the pride of a military general. At some point during the executive consultant's presentation a member of your company interjects a question to which the executive consultant turns to the glamorous blonde "Client Relations Accountant" and asks her to make a note of that, but never answers the question.

"We're new-age, eMoving, marketing consultants"
The glamorous blonde prop writes something in her executive leather notebook which no one reads but everyone knows it is something along these lines: "Die, die you infernal pin-head! I had to lug all your techno crap up five flights of stairs in these cheap pumps I bought at Wal-Mart because you pay me 18 grand a year. I have a masters in marketing communications fer cryin' out loud and all I'm doing is acting as your personal wait staff. Super size this!"

"Our main consulting strategy is to convince clients that we do stuff they can't do themselves, and that we deserve lots of money for it."

Huh? Corp. needs to be taken seriously. Stop laughing. Why do you keep laughing? Besides the fact that the author of that Web site says what all creative staff members want to say, it is beautifully designed with attractive stock photo images for maximum client impact. Stop laughing! This is my nightmare too. The Huh? Corp. Web site is like a live action Dilbert cartoon. Enjoy!

  1. Anonymous Michael | 8:06 PM, October 31, 2005 |  

    I am, thank you.

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